IT’S MY BODY

So why can’t I talk about it the way I want?

Just try it, tell a colleague or a friend that you’re dissatisfied with how you look and wait for their response. More likely than not, they’ll say something like, ‘don’t be silly, you’re so skinny!’ or ‘you should be happy with the way you look!’. Yeah, we all should be and I’m at the stage in life where I’ve more or less accepted the way I am. But for these people who are so resistant to personal expression, they forget about their bouts of insecurity and how

contradictions can be counterproductive. For example, a more honest, toned-down response like: ‘you feel this way about yourself now but it’ll pass’, or ‘if you’re that unhappy about it are you looking to do something about it?’ would make me rethink my moments of self-doubt and instead re-evaluate what is self-love and how I apply it. These are the responses I would find more constructive than condemnation about how I feel towards my body and my expression of it.

Why is self-love a requirement for ‘role models’?

On social media the term ‘self-love’ is thrown around liberally. It’s true that in real life, not enough of us practice it so I get it. I get that it’s a responsibility to show others that it’s okay to accept yourself for who you are and embrace yourself. But personally, admitting that I feel fat is also a form of honesty and although at first, it might seem against the whole self-love movement – it’s not. Most people have those phases where they don’t feel great about the way they look and whether it’s more vanity than health, does that really matter when it’s also a personal preference?

Perpetuating the idea that self-love equates to constant acceptance of  yourself kind of makes me feel

worse about those times I don’t want to accept that I’ve gained weight, my skin has broken out or I’m bloated. And I don’t want to accept it because if I can be proactive about finding a solution that shows that I love and respect myself enough to do so.

Of course, there are boundaries. Anything harmful to me or to others, I would never intentionally share. And that’s not even a responsibility I’ve taken on but something that I regard as respect. Like, if another girl were the same size and proportion as me, I wouldn’t think she was overweight or  could ‘look better’. She is who she is. But as individuals, we should be allowed to judge ourselves the way we wish.