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Maybe you can relate to me if you’re one of those girls that sway dramatically between dressing like a boy (as chic as possible, of course) and wanting to swan around your home covered in glitter, wearing a princess dress – I think this comes from a childhood of being limited to being Mulan and let’s face it, she’s not cute. As a result, my bags and shoes tend to be minimalist and almost always black to fit whatever I decide to wear that day. I have always loved the out-of-bed effortless look and nothing says this louder than a pyjama blouse. I paired with this some dressed-up tapered black trousers and velvet heels to add a little more luxe to a casual look. The Leather Cle Keyhole bag c/o of Kurt Geiger completes the look with its minimalist soft structure and subtle gold hardware.
On a more personal note and in relation to the post I wrote about reasons to meet other bloggers I’ve realised that as an account grows, the difficulty of finding genuine people to collaborate and work with increases. A friend of mine brought up that Black Mirror episode Nosedive where that girl has to stray further from who she is to be accepted and rated 5 stars. Obviously I, and no one I have met is anywhere near to that satirical statement but that friend had a point. At what stage do we decide that we’re in this for ‘the game’ rather than a community or to create? I am extremely sceptical of anyone with a blog that they update and promote that claims that numbers don’t count. I fully disbelieve anyone who has a non-private Instagram account with a somewhat curated feed. There is no need for people who hold these empty claims to deceive themselves when there shouldn’t be a binary approach to success. You can be a nice person with good intentions, not simply out there to get exposure, free photos at every turn and use robots to curate who they follow and unfollow, and still get ahead. Yet from my experience, there are a lot of bloggers out there that seem to depend on this approach.
There’s research that shows that individuals would like to be more of the person that they portray online. I wonder if this has much impact on how their personality changes when they adopt their social media persona. This spiel is not to fulfil word count or for SEO purposes. It’s to say that although I have met and worked with some truly inspiring and lovely people, I have been in contact with others that are so blatantly cut-throat and opportunistic to the point it affects even the simplest relationships. I choose to answer the most basic emails asking questions like what camera I use, who my photographers are – subjects that are clearly covered on my FAQ post if they were to just search a little deeper than my Instagram. I respond to people who message me out of the blue without so much as a ‘how are you?’ in the off chance that it’s just a difference in culture that I expect pleasantries and they don’t. I don’t see myself as the friendliest person out of all the bloggers I know, in fact I think I’m pretty anti-social. I like to be at home before 2am and I don’t like small talk. But I am always as generous as I can be with helping others as I know how valuable it was for me to get useful advice when I first started.
However, you can be too nice and it usually is misplaced with the wrong people. If you’re in the same position as me the first three warning signs are one, when someone contacts you with questions and only questions about themselves or their work. Two, when they ask super obvious questions that is literally in your bio or they do something that shows they really don’t care about you personally, like get your name wrong more than once. Three – and this is my favourite, when they ask for contacts in the industry or to shoot at their leisure but sulk when you can’t/ don’t want to provide random people with your last emailed PR addresses/ have no time to carve out four hours to follow a stranger around Notting Hill with a camera. No thanks, babe.
Shot by Yusef, @yusufeksk
Kurt Geiger bag
Asos pyjama top (similar here)
Charles and Keith shoes