IT’S MY BODY

IT’S MY BODY

So why can’t I talk about it the way I want?

Just try it, tell a colleague or a friend that you’re dissatisfied with how you look and wait for their response. More likely than not, they’ll say something like, ‘don’t be silly, you’re so skinny!’ or ‘you should be happy with the way you look!’. Yeah, we all should be and I’m at the stage in life where I’ve more or less accepted the way I am. But for these people who are so resistant to personal expression, sometimes they forget about their bouts of insecurity and how

contradictions are counterproductive. A more honest, toned-down response like: ‘you feel this way about yourself now but it’ll pass’, or ‘if you’re that unhappy about it are you looking to do something about it?’ would make me rethink my moments of self-doubt and instead re-evaluate what is self-love and how I apply it to myself. These are the responses I would find more constructive than condemnation about how I feel towards my body and how I want to express it.

 

 

Why is self-love a requirement for ‘role models’?

On social media the term ‘self-love’ is thrown around liberally. It’s true that in real life, not enough of us practice it so I get it. I get that it’s a responsibility to show others that it’s okay to accept yourself for who you are and embrace yourself. But personally, admitting that I feel fat is also a form of honesty and although at first, it might seem against the whole self-love movement – it’s not. Most people have those phases where they don’t feel great about the way they look and whether it’s more vanity than health, does that really matter when it’s also a personal preference?

Perpetuating the idea that self-love equates to constant acceptance of  yourself kind of makes me feel

 

 

 

worse about those times I don’t want to accept that I’ve gained weight or broken out or I’m bloated. And I don’t want to accept it because if I can do something proactive about it, to me that shows that I love and respect myself enough to do so.

There are boundaries, anything harmful to me or to others, I would never intentionally express. And that’s not even a responsibility I’ve taken on but something that I regard as respect. Like, if another girl were the same size and proportion as me, I wouldn’t think she was overweight or  could ‘look better’. She is who she is. But as individuals, we should be allowed to judge ourselves the way we wish.

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The hypocrisy of the pressure of self-love

 

The repression of our expression of our self-confidence, no matter or high or low, is prolific. We can’t be too in love with ourselves and show off our bodies, yet we can’t be so insecure as to express it regularly on social media.

There are so many mixed messages, for example, the internet seems to think it’s okay to herald a medically overweight because it shows off cellulite and condemn another for being naturally skinny because ribs are deemed as ‘unattractive’. Magazines are no different. Look on sites like the Daily Mail and you’ll see that the language used to describe women’s bodies are along the lines of ‘curvy’ or ‘sexy’ for one celebrity and ‘let go of herself’ for another – and they are probably the same size in real life.

Self-love has become a tool for messages to serve an individual’s purpose rather than stand for something larger. Why can’t self-love promote: you are beautiful now, but if you want to be better, go and be better because you can?

 

 

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I know this is a sensitive matter but it’s one that personally affects me, I’m so sick of people thinking they have the right to educate me on my body. Does anyone else feel this way? DM me or drop me an email, I’m always happy to discuss.

Photography by Yibin Huang

Instagram: @chromaticworks

 

Zara bikini and top | Topshop Unique dress | Celine shoes

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2 Comments

  1. 25th September 2017 / 1:49 PM

    This is such an insightful and thought provoking way of looking at an issue that we all have to deal with. It’s so strange because when I feel good about my body I see something that makes me feel like I should be skinnier, when I feel bad about it I don’t know if I should express it because I’m supposed to constantly install confidence in others so I should feel confident in myself too right? I guess at the end of the day it just comes down to being honest – EVERYONE feels this way at some point right? So why can’t we be honest about it!

    x
    Shloka
    http://www.thesilksneaker.com

  2. AndreaCheong
    25th September 2017 / 6:55 PM

    I so agree, we are so worried about being caught up in ‘doing the right thing’ and ‘being strong’ that we are actually perpetuating a falseness that we are ALWAYS that way but it’s not true at all.

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